Author: paulattinello
-
Duisburg I: Arrival
I keep smiling at things, all sorts of things, in a half-humorous, slightly bemused way – recognizing bits of Germanness that are so utterly, well, German: the way one notes the distinctly odd but predictable behavior of an old friend. Gerhard has had me put up in a room in a reconditioned cloister, on a…
-
… transitional…
Off to Germany tomorrow; Duisburg, to work with a friend for five days, on a long-overdue book that is about his work. Haven’t done much real work; kept up with some administration. Continuing rather irritable with many students; some are brilliant, inspired, interesting, others just slogging along, skipping classes. I am uninterested in dragging them…
-
Foolish scientists
Last month, when I was reading a lot of science fiction writer Greg Egan (in between visits to V. in the hospital), I was getting caught up in his characters – and not always agreeably: as Egan has a lot of interest in ‘hard’ science, his people tend to disdain the humanities, religion, emotion, and…
-
Inevitable
On TV, late: the episode of Sex and the City, fairly early on (season two), where Big threatens to move to Paris. Fights, unhappiness, chaos. Of course, having seen season six, with its lovely and surprisingly satisfying ending, we know that Carrie will finally end up with Big again – and we will even find…
-
The Expert
Today I returned V.’s library books to the university library; chased by a student who wanted to chat, I just pulled away and said it was a difficult day. Difficult especially because one of our first-year students committed suicide last night; a sweet kid, one who had had problems with depression and anxiety, but who…
-
Lose an hour
Normally I am annoyed to lose an hour in spring – and elated to gain one in the fall. It’s not just getting to sleep late (my schedule is such that usually I could do that anyway), but the larger association with how I manage my life – I’m kind of full of the White…
-
Awake
Early, gray but with enough light to waken me. Among various work, and things not done, and a few things done: still a certain drift, this frequent anxiety that my inept use of my own time puts my life in the category of ‘unsuccessful, also ran, not quite sound.’ Not quite a failure, certainly not…
-
Elsewhere
My apologies for this post: merely another whinge about wanting to be elsewhere. But first: where am I now? At home; the apartment is pleasant and, on the side away from the western winds that are bringing us a last dose of winter, relatively warm. Small patches of snow in the corners of my downstairs…
-
Against Research
All right. Having included a rather irretrievably assertive statement about getting research done in V.’s eulogy; and knowing that she would be annoyed with me if I let our projects slide too far; and having indulged myself about as far as I can this weekend (drunk to her memory, a lot, on Friday night; slept…
-
Memory of V.
[Read today at V.’s funeral, after other remembrances by H. and one of her French relatives.] With Vanessa, the sheer range of enjoyable things to remember about her is a bit daunting – so much hard work, so much fun – writing, shopping, dancing – talking with people from all over the world. The endless…
Paul Attinello 