Author: paulattinello
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Journals
In seeking (I am, undoubtedly, what religionists would call a seeker, in many ways) some strategies to get me out of my slough, to get me writing these two articles which are both so overdue and on the verge of being too overdue to publish, I went to Anne LaMott’s Bird by Bird, which is…
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Continued on next rock
Still rather fuzzy/weak/tingly/headachey today. Since I always want an explanation for how I feel, I’m a bit annoyed and stymied – my lab results two weeks ago were just about the best ever, I don’t think I’ve caught anything in the way of current viruses from the students, and so on. Of course, it is…
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Idleisms (which became: Out of balance)
Butt In Chair: the great injunction for writers (okay, perhaps not as great as ‘Done Is Good’, as it’s a bit less presentable in mixed company – whatever that means these days) from Susan M. I am in my chair today, having moved myself and computer from the living room, where the increasingly beaten-up couch,…
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Diagnosis
Was reading Storr’s Dynamics of Creation, where he analyzes creativity (as viewed through biographies of ‘great’ artistic figures) in psychological/psychoanalytic terms. It’s one of his earlier books, and a little clunkier than the later ones – Storr has made a career out of intelligent but popularly-oriented explorations of various experiences in psychological terms; one of…
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Unusual
Weirdly energetic today. No, strike that: not weirdly – normally, but unaccustomedly, energetic. (Beep beep beep: adverbial overload alert.) Feeling fairly calm, physically not depressed, awake, all the way down to my ‘core’ sense of my body. Woke after sleeping only six hours (short for me) ready to do things – vacuumed, did a bit…
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Near Sea
Traffic on the bridge is heavy. Your foot tiring on the clutch. Pull into the marina; that must be your boat, I read the painted name. Stand alone on the deck, cool salt breeze, turn slowly, about to call to you – I am far from home, the wind blows flesh off my bones I…
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The Process
[Los Angeles, 1991] I’m not dying. I’m sitting on the couch next to the windows with my feet up, feeling the breath of the afternoon air; the sun slants away across the grass and its sprinklers. I’m wearing my gray robe, the heavy warm one, and waiting stoically for another coughing fit. I’m sick again…
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Abandoning responsibility
No problems with my liver, and my blood counts were absurdly good (697 T-cells – literally the highest number I’ve ever had, in fifteen or more years of testing them), so the weakness I’ve experienced (plus all the usual gastro problems) the past two or three days must all be ‘transitional’ side effects. What’s been…
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Toxic
Headaches, diarrhea, sudden bursts of fatigue. Not overwhelming, just enough to notice, and to make me stay home when invited to see Guy Fawkes fireworks. It does seem rather weird, doesn’t it, that a “reformulated” Kaletra would give me transitional reactions like a new medicine – but perhaps this confirms that this reformulation is different,…
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Promises
Friday: a day of things whose colors were muted, rather dull colors mixed with gray; but those things, quiet and apparently unimportant, were nonetheless good, and important. Reading Sontag on Goodman and Artaud, for no real reason, just because it was the book I picked up on the way to the bus, on the way…
Paul Attinello 