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Symptoms
So: after having fussed and fussed (and fussed) about this treatment; and then latterly become conscious that I've been making it all a much more anxious activity than it needed to be… I discover the next stage of my talent for making things more difficult than they need to be. The first two injections –…
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Samhain
Today, the second of what I estimate to be three astoundingly difficult days of change: I would have said before, of disaster and loss, but now I'm not so sure. A great crisis at work that has been held at bay for eight years. And crashing into the new medications, which has all gone –…
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BERLIN
Because Berlin is, of course, BIG. And this trip, that impression is very strong. Big streets, big spaces between them – all as they were when I was a student here in 1994-5, and on one or two visits since then. As I tell my students when they plan to come here on an exchange…
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Bruchstücke
I am slightly less disoriented/anxious than I have been for three weeks. Slightly, I say; at least enough to have some sense of distance from it all; and a bigger sense of time, as though I can perhaps imagine different ways that the fear and confusion of the past days can fit into larger parts…
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Deliberate crises
Lately there is a strange sense of a kind of semi-ordered chaos: as I am by turns angry and disoriented, or surprisingly pleased, or overwhelmed, or insulting, or reasonable, it seems as though I have been pushed (or: as though I have pushed myself?) into this psychological place. The physical/real-world explanations are obvious: months of…
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Blinds
For the most part, I have been sharply productive and energetic about preparing for my next bout with HCV medications, combined with the new school year. Robust, definite, in charge. But an argument tonight about adding yet more things to do to my week has somehow flung me into memories from the first time I…
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Paul Attinello 