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Wakened
Lying on the couch, supposedly finishing V.’s eulogy for tomorrow’s funeral, and fixing shoes, shirt, etc., but – instead – actually sleeping the evening away… well, I was sleepy all day, I didn’t get to bed until late last night then spent the whole day running around after students. H. called on my cel phone,…
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Brighter
It’s that point in spring, at this northern latitude, when the days start getting longer startlingly fast, and I wake at 6:30 am with the day already begun and sunny; and the students cheer up. I predict a relaxed funeral for V. on Friday as a result – something more like a wake, which is…
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A bit dulled
Last night: sitting around with D., V.’s husband and H., V.’s best friend. They were relaxing after a day of doing lists – lists of people not to forget to invite to the service, lists of music, lists of this and that. They are both in rather better shape than they were. And, fortunately, we…
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Exasperate
This is actually the hard part: people stopping me in the hall, being sympathetic, saying how awful it is that V. has died. I always have lots of trouble with this part – actual disasters don’t faze me that much, but talking about them afterward in any but the simplest terms makes me a bit…
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After V.
Change, time, sudden breaks, new landscapes. Familiar to me; but this now is after a long time of relative stasis. V.’s death coincided with finishing several things I’ve been working on for several months, and of course my increasing well-being over the past three months from the new medications; and considering, with increasing definiteness, moving…
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End
V. is gone. Actually not gone, but – going – they have decided that there is enough brain damage that even if she could be awakened it wouldn’t really be her. They are turning off machines tonight; she may continue breathing for a few days, but she really died on Monday evening, when she had…
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Paul Attinello 