Paul Attinello

Blog

  • The Long Weekend

    [San Francisco & Los Angeles, 1991] I Saturday What was he like – you mean before, don’t you? Wait, move, my arm’s going to sleep. Oh, it’s not so bad for a foldout couch. Hey, it’s free, right? Okay, it was sort of – no, it’s fine, they always shut their bedroom door. Okay, first.…

  • at [x] in the morning

    My first paper on AIDS and music, back in the mid-1990s when I thought death was imminent, and honesty unavoidable, was titled, “at three in the morning, with both pedals down”. Now it’s four in the morning. Half an hour ago I finished the Sondheim paper – or declared it finished. Calm, exalted, distant. Yes,…

  • L.A. Story

    [The first sentence of the worst gay novel ever written.] As the bus station locker slammed shut with a clang, I reflected blissfully on having escaped from the bitter, windswept plains of Montana and on Muffy’s predictably overjoyed reaction which I could virtually see (although of course she was not present at the time, being,…

  • Shiki soku ze ku

    Shiki soku ze ku, Ku soku ze shiki Hurry up it’s time clock nails closing door Drooling cries moaning flabby hands sweat Drab knife-edge headlamp glare shades to black and white Drive in distorted circles wait get out parking Unseeing eyes flat twisting numb hands pulling too far Head thrown back pale lights clutch fingers…

  • Writing a Story for You

    [Los Angeles, 1991. For me this story is always paired with Valentine’s Day (below), because I started writing them the same night, in that laundromat – but it is about a different man, a different time, a different city.] You’re dead, but you wanted to write stories. You were just about to get published, just…

  • Valentine’s Day

    [Los Angeles, 1991] I met Gary about a week ago, we’ve only seen each other twice, but I’m surprised at how happy I am around him – beautiful, sharp-edged features, a strong soldier’s face and warm Southern voice, and of course his fierce enthusiasm in bed. And he seems to like me so much. I’m…

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