Category: AIDS/HIV
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Anniversary
Well: a surprise – ten years today since I started this blog. Cue opening vamp for 'I'm Still Here.' (MJ, you'll remember how much needs to be put into that song to carry it off…) ••• Time, change. Current health update: last week was terrible, this week wasn't bad. I took advantage of seeing the senior…
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Haze
Two-thirds of the way through a twelve-week HCV treatment. Ordered in Chinese food, then the next day had a virus, fever, etc…. somebody sneezed, I suppose. Fairly wiped out for two days; in analysis (over the internet), an interesting focus – at one point my analyst points out that I speak of myself as a third…
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Easter
On the one hand, longer days, sunlight, a still-chilly and intermittent promise of spring. On the other HCV medications, confusions, changing demands, papers to write – Behind it all is still a greater calm, dreams that tend to move through anxiety to relief and resolution. Not an imagined change, clearly a real one… But no,…
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Aschenbach-moment
The past few months: there is a lot to say, and not much to say… I continue feeling weakened, sleepy, with problems centred on the new medications. I resolve them more successfully on some days, with various ancillary medicines, and not at all successfully on others. There was a point in early January when I awoke,…
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Getting there
Traveling… After the past couple of shaky months, and shakier weeks, and all of the activity around World AIDS Day, a trip for two conferences – a small conference on identity and music in Graz, and a larger one of Jungians doing politics, in Rome. How was it in general? – a lot of travel (Newcastle-Amsterdam, Amsterdam-Vienna,…
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World AIDS Day Vigil, 2015
[Speech for World AIDS Day, 2015] A couple of weeks ago, I got four different calls from journalists and radio stations asking how I felt about the announcement that actor Charlie Sheen had publicly admitted to being HIV+. I had to come up with an opinion, and I thought, well – good for him, public…
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Shadows
… I don't feel well…. ••• Bits of news and experiences, some silly, some exasperating, exhausting. Some vaguely foreboding. I've mentioned my own error from late spring and summer, in taking charcoal capsules for stomach problems – which led to medications not being absorbed – which is now turning into a chain of events that has…
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Power down / delete / restart
A strange time… that seems to fuse and clarify memories of other, earlier strange times. Including the past six months. Or the past three. The Jung-Institut weeks were – not fun, but somehow necessary. Several more turns of the wheel in understanding where/who I am. And my annoyance with myself over the past year –…
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Associations
In our studies at the Jung-Institut, there is one apparently archaic procedure we have to run through – the Association Experiment (or Association Test). It's basically the thing that got Freud interested in Jung in 1906 (as The Interpretation of Dreams is the thing that made Jung, along with everyone else, interested in Freud). Stopwatch, list…
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To Züri
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A busy, rapidly moving ten days or so, resulting in numerous things done – patients, classes, editing, emails – and also at some points just stopping, almost startled that I didn't want to work on the next thing. My new version of procrastination, I think: something barer, simpler – with far less anxiety. Perhaps this…
Paul Attinello 