Category: Awareness
-
Key
Fall… University is starting; I'm in better shape than last year – not energetic, but cheerful, calm. Frequently my body falls into a haze of slow-motion quasi-weakness – not like a sickness, just drained of energy; but it doesn't feel like a problem. I suppose it's only a problem when other people are expecting me…
-
Things
A time of flickering changes, referents – going through books, CDs, tech, implements and bowls and glasses, my office at school, my office at home, the living room, the kitchen: the world of things. There are burdens here, and entanglements – I am approximately as good at letting go the world of things as I…
-
Raise your glass
I can't easily explain it: a link between an unexpectedly named day, a song I didn't understand, and a set of unfamiliar feelings…. It's been a bit odd: I was throwing references to this stuff at my friends all day – most people seem vaguely pleased, but a bit puzzled. That is probably because the…
-
Sky in evening
The sky is a mixture of dim golds and blues…. ••• Last week, we had four beautiful days of summer. Early May; those four days were strictly delimited – the weather was forecast to change on the fifth day to an ongoing 58-62 for the indefinite future, and it did exactly that. But those summer…
-
14:23 10-3-18
14:23 = 2:23 pm 10 March 2018 = Saturday … Having left M. with a hug at the station (one of those hugs between men that always make me wonder, in a flash, whether non-gay locals find this unusual, but then I always decide not to care), I turn and walk – not, as I…
-
Links
The six-hour essay exam is about to end: I am in the small, coolly organised office at the top of the building, looking down across the garden to the lake. I have eaten my lunch at the table to my left, gone through my bottle of tea and had a bit of coffee, dozed at…
-
A different three in the morning
'Three in the morning' has shown up in several of my published papers around AIDS since the mid-1990s. It generally refers to the same nexus of memory, feeling, implications: a quality of being in a hospital room, an anonymous room that could be anywhere, in the middle of the night; lights are very low but…
-
Last session
We agreed that today would be the final session of my own psychoanalysis… Strangely enough, this is the smoothest, most successful ending to an analytic relationship I’ve ever had. With each of the other three Jungian analysts, things went somewhat wrong – circumstances, unplanned aspects; two of them were a bit self-centred or careless about…
-
Temporal, again
Reading about Chronos and Kairos: clock time and experiential, 'aware' time. (It's only a couple of months since I first learned that Chronos is not Kronos… an error caused by the similarity of the English sounds; in Greek they are completely different, and represent different pre-Olympic deities. This leaves me a bit abashed, I thought…
-
Vision • understanding • evanescence • eternity
The last three days of being in Zürich… ••• Wednesday, 9:30 am: Dunbar gives his first lecture of the week at the Jung-Institut; he has visited here before, and he led a session of Nancy's online seminar this spring. His approach seems at first a bit strange, then fascinating – he points out we generally…