Paul Attinello

Category: Awareness

  • Could-be-other

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    paulattinello
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    A beautiful day. A list of things done. A meeting, minor enough. A couple of days ago, finishing up a preparatory paper for one of my upcoming exams, I realized I was tensing up enough to make myself uncomfortable, and in some actual pain – took a medication I had thought I didn't need any…

  • Glorious

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    paulattinello
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    A glorious day – as we name it: yesterday was like this too. The first few days of June, and England seems to have remembered what it has been told by other countries, in those pubs where they all hang out, that in June it is summer, and in summer it is sunny and warm…

  • Anxiety-confidence-fear-pride-resignation-…

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    paulattinello
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    So: a bit too many appointments, too much teaching (though it is not going badly); editing the book; studying for four Jung-Institut exams, with two papers; taking over the HIV group's peer counseling… I have been thrown from worry to a more steely determination, and through everything between, in more and more erratic and rapidly…

  • Visceral

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    paulattinello
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    And so: since the chilly equilibrium reached at the end of my previous post, there has been a feeling of negotating the curves in existence, but with certain blinkers, or speed governors, removed from the engines, from the windshields… (Hmm, I wonder if my brother would appreciate the car metaphors. He'd probably manage them better.)…

  • Brecht (no, I mean the other one)

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    paulattinello
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    Today I went to York for the second time, to my new analyst, S. I like her a great deal – and this might be a very good change for me: it feels as though my two major analysts, John and Mitch, have both been people who were fairly similar to me – which seemed…

  • In-the-midst-of

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    paulattinello
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    A day that had one-thing-after-another in it: some are familiar, even long-repeated actions, some are new; there are pleasures, there are boring bits: and that quailty that has appeared in several (no: in a number) of my posts lately, of being transitional, of being sort of in-between. Liminal, perhaps. With students, cheerful or as though…

  • Pieces

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    paulattinello
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    Experiences lately seem to come in defined, outlined, characterized pieces: like bits of a mosaic. But since the mosaic isn't seen whole (at least not by me), I am constantly surprised by huge shifts in the ground underfoot…. * A couple of weeks ago, at the acupuncturist, while lying pierced: a really astounding ecstatic experience,…

  • South

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    paulattinello
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    … a conference in New Orleans. On an airplane, headed from northern England, via Amsterdam and Atlanta, to the real heart of the very South. Unfortunately, I keep being surprised at the sloppy, smelly American passengers in my last couple of air trips to the States – and they always seem to be so loud,…

  • Last days

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    paulattinello
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    It is – probably – the second-to-the-last day of real summer; tomorrow is probably, as it were, the closing firework display of good weather. Pleasant that it will be a Sunday, after Rumana's big party tonight. Of course the weather forecast from Monday onwards, and knowledge of how North Sea weather goes, gives just a…

  • Turning points

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    paulattinello
    in

    The truth is: all points these days feel kind of like turning points. Somewhere between August and September; between summer and fall. Between the expected weather for this part of the world, and this gloriously sunny day, when we sat out in a lovely Italian garden restaurant, and where the warmth and food were almost…