Category: Dreaming
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2 December
The first of December is of course World AIDS Day, a definite part of my calendar – there was a parade, speeches, 'lanterns' made of paper and glow sticks; and I had appearances on radio and television (the television studios were up to date and startlingly high-tech – in my four minutes of being in…
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Hard
Sunday afternoon in Newcastle. Sunny and clear, shops and restaurants open, people walking along. A young guy, shaved head, talks on his phone, walking up and down. He goes to the corner of a granite building near the bus stop, leans over, retches – vomits, not much, some chunks of food in what is probably…
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Stages
The cloud of minor changes this month, anxiety over illness – three weeks of pains starting each night that turned out merely to be neuropathy, which, as I've explained to friends, is as though a dashboard light glows; but it doesn't indicate engine trouble, it just indicates that there's something wrong with the dashboard light…
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Airports (II)
I remember that, in the first few years I went up in airplanes, and lasting well into my early twenties, I was amazed by the tops of the clouds visible through the airplane windows – and responded to them with fascination and flights of imagination, and couldn't quite understand why other people didn't watch them…
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Alternatives
An unusual analysis session today… I had five or six dreams for us to discuss, three fairly substantial and complete, three or four more fragmentary and partially remembered. All the dreams had familiar elements and settings strewn through them – a southern California parking lot and a suburban office building, a southeast Asian grocery with…
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…
Much sleep the past week, hard to wake for more than a few hours at a time. I have spoken before about the memoir of Lady Sarashina – one of those ninth-century Japanese Heian women writers, but very unlike Murasaki or Shonagon, all we have of her is a late, not long attempt to put…
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Abandon
The shot again tonight. And the doctor phoned to say the medication is having some effect – so now I don't know what will happen, what decisions will be made in February; but oh well. The past two or three weeks remarkable for the sharpening, the intensification, of side effects: no, they're still not awful…
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The City
It will be obvious to anyone who has read much of this blog that San Francisco still has, nearly thirteen long years after I last lived there, an intense fascination (or should I say obsession?) for me. My love of small, beautiful cities, of gently artistic, liberal people, of hillside houses, of small neighborhoods stamped…
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Dying / not-dying
Feeling well today. Then feeling very tired, so went and laid down. Then well again. And talking to Alfred, who has more success and fame than I ever will, and who is thirteen years older. After having been treated yesterday by Jambo, my acupuncturist, who is twenty-eight, full of life and presence and direction. I…
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Alternative histories
Last night's dream: a music conservatory, walking between buildings in rainy autumn weather – I am a student working on my technique, talking with others – serious, committed and reasonable, as I never actually was in school… a surprisingly detailed, and strange, setting. Like another life, one that might have happened. Today I was working,…
Paul Attinello 