Category: Personal
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Relational
Not quite so sure I won't try to become a Jungian analyst; we'll see. Of course, in any major decision it is good to give up on it at one point, at least… but despite my concerns about age, health, time, cost, logistics, appropriateness, and what might be my underlying (possibly suspect, narcissistic, inflated or…
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Things that are easy
After months of moving from anger to exasperation, through guilt and a sense that I was holding out on him too long (and thereby being petty, etc.), I finally texted Patrick tonight, and we Moved On, which took a total of four text messages. So utterly easy, as it always is in these things once…
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Sitges: People, and people
I remain confused about the position of other people in my life… my family, my friends, my colleagues. Lately I’ve allowed two friendships to become somewhat damaged: one because a dear friend’s husband is going through a rough time, and I have little respect for how he’s handling it – thus, in an admittedly ruthless…
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Search for meaning
After a startlingly busy week, about half oriented towards other peoples’ needs (although I was supposed to start research leave a week ago, of course some people did not keep up with normal schedules and requests to help me do so; especially exasperating, given how much of my own past month has been oriented towards…
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In the lists
The past couple of weeks, through the holidays but around/after Sandy’s death, have been different than they usually are for me – no travel, not much activity, no real holidays; only a bit of peripheral participation in other people’s holidays (Bennett & Merrie dropping by, Chris Wood’s concert, dinner at blahfeme’s – and tonight New…
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Family pictures
By which, this time at least, I don’t mean: pictures of my family. We have hundreds – thousands – of those, from the decades of my father’s passionate taking of photographs; I have several made into plates – including one of all of us some time around 1968 or 1969, where Sandy notably has a…
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Message
A calm day, after several nights of erratic sleep (insomnia is strange for me – usually even under stress I sleep more): went in for a meeting and office holiday luncheon, got a haircut, did errands. The house is quiet and clean, and smells good: candles in the living room, panettone in the kitchen. ***…
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Reflection
It’s obscurely troubling, though understandable, that Sandy evidently knew how low her chances were – and we didn’t. Or, perhaps more accurately (it’s hard to tell exactly), that she knew that her chances might be very low, while we assumed that there was an outside chance that she would be in some trouble. A slightly…
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After
As it happens, there will be no memorial for some time – so I won’t go home this weekend, or I think anywhere over the holidays. Which means, as even Patrick has gone home to Wales for the next three weeks, plenty of time to myself – and/or too much time to myself, however you…
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Sandy
My eldest sister Sandy (Sandra) died this afternoon – about an hour ago – in the hospital; her husband and daughter were apparently there. I will arrange to fly home this weekend – I assume there will be a funeral or memorial before Christmas – when my younger sister and brother and their families were…
Paul Attinello 