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Unusual
Weirdly energetic today. No, strike that: not weirdly – normally, but unaccustomedly, energetic. (Beep beep beep: adverbial overload alert.) Feeling fairly calm, physically not depressed, awake, all the way down to my ‘core’ sense of my body. Woke after sleeping only six hours (short for me) ready to do things – vacuumed, did a bit…
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Near Sea
Traffic on the bridge is heavy. Your foot tiring on the clutch. Pull into the marina; that must be your boat, I read the painted name. Stand alone on the deck, cool salt breeze, turn slowly, about to call to you – I am far from home, the wind blows flesh off my bones I…
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The Process
[Los Angeles, 1991] I’m not dying. I’m sitting on the couch next to the windows with my feet up, feeling the breath of the afternoon air; the sun slants away across the grass and its sprinklers. I’m wearing my gray robe, the heavy warm one, and waiting stoically for another coughing fit. I’m sick again…
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Abandoning responsibility
No problems with my liver, and my blood counts were absurdly good (697 T-cells – literally the highest number I’ve ever had, in fifteen or more years of testing them), so the weakness I’ve experienced (plus all the usual gastro problems) the past two or three days must all be ‘transitional’ side effects. What’s been…
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Toxic
Headaches, diarrhea, sudden bursts of fatigue. Not overwhelming, just enough to notice, and to make me stay home when invited to see Guy Fawkes fireworks. It does seem rather weird, doesn’t it, that a “reformulated” Kaletra would give me transitional reactions like a new medicine – but perhaps this confirms that this reformulation is different,…
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Promises
Friday: a day of things whose colors were muted, rather dull colors mixed with gray; but those things, quiet and apparently unimportant, were nonetheless good, and important. Reading Sontag on Goodman and Artaud, for no real reason, just because it was the book I picked up on the way to the bus, on the way…
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Paul Attinello 