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Toxic
Headaches, diarrhea, sudden bursts of fatigue. Not overwhelming, just enough to notice, and to make me stay home when invited to see Guy Fawkes fireworks. It does seem rather weird, doesn’t it, that a “reformulated” Kaletra would give me transitional reactions like a new medicine – but perhaps this confirms that this reformulation is different,…
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Promises
Friday: a day of things whose colors were muted, rather dull colors mixed with gray; but those things, quiet and apparently unimportant, were nonetheless good, and important. Reading Sontag on Goodman and Artaud, for no real reason, just because it was the book I picked up on the way to the bus, on the way…
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In the night
Amidst all this dim worrying and occasional working, and as the nights draw in, and everything transforms to winter – I keep thinking: I’m much more interested in my dreaming life, and sleeping, than I am in my waking life. This isn’t because I remember many of my dreams, nor because those have some powerful…
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Dark history
[Still rather sleepy, still trying to get some editing done – but I realized it’s Halloween, so I thought I should have something slightly macabre. At our lunchtime writing workshop the other day, a woman brought in a souvenir book from the late 1930s that was full of pictures of the Royal Family; our exercise…
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Edits
Editing academic papers… maddened with boredom, procrastinating absurdly. I was reassured when David said to me last week, Yes, editing other people’s work is so boring – given how hard-working and efficient he is, it made me feel better that he would acknowledge the annoyance of this really rather simple and supposedly stress-free task. The…
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In bed
[Los Angeles, 1990] Float in white, not touching earth.Hide quietly. Blurred moments, sense of shifting consciousness and dreams, a time that goes in starts and fragments, processes and gaps, reversals – I hear the mail crash through the door, the sound of panic: ancient bills, requests to steam clean unreal carpets, and most frightening: friendly…
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Paul Attinello 