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Missing a beat
Still weakened, woozy today. Hard to describe, really – like a slight illness, but not with feeling actually bad… felt better in the afternoon, fairly normal in the evening. All of which made a slight break in the cycle of thinking, second-guessing. As I am of course a rigid personality, some breakage in my cycle…
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Solaris
Continued light-headed, or perhaps woozy, all afternoon. Didn’t go to Catherine’s birthday dinner. Did go in for interview with prospective postgraduate – and I’m sorry if it sounds heartless, but what a waste of time that was. Well I suppose that in the larger sense, as I gave her advice about where she should consider…
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vertigo
After taking my pills a few hours ago, started to feel strange – tingling, disoriented. An acute sense of feeling my internal organs (possibly illusory – there aren’t any nerves in there, are there?) and a shimmer of minor aches. (This after being pleased that my gums stopped aching after I took some echinacea….) I…
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Through the mazes
I continue to respond to the summer and its work in a rather murky and unsatisfying way. The weather has moved quite firmly from hot to chilly, and gray to boot (not ‘grey’, it’s not that subtle). I have piles of things that need to be done, but plenty of time to do them –…
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Entangled in the blankets
I woke shortly before my 8:30 pills, turned off the alarm, went out to the couch to lie for a bit more: engaged in an interesting (to me) psychological game, which had a depth that only gradually became evident – imagining myself differently, as someone who was going to get some things done today (marking…
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Seasons
This frozen twilight, ice holds my breathing under and alone. I brush away wet darkened leaves, lean down on your grave… Direct, above, strong sun gives flame to your arm across my back; I push aside green branches, catch your morning eyes and smile – [Los Angeles, 11/4/91-9/21/92]
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Paul Attinello 